Highlighting an important issue

Hey ladies its Monday. I put a post on our Facebook page this morning, just a general wonderment of who is following our blog as we now have close to 100 'likes'. The link is in the sidebar so please pop over there and give us your feedback!!

As you can probably tell by my shiny new bagde (also - sidebar!) I have recently become a member of the British Mummy Bloggers (BMB) which is basically what the name says it is and its great to read other blog posts and share ideas etc. Hannah is also a member. So I was browsing through some blog entries the other day and came across one in particular that touched on what I think is a very important subject matter, mental illness. I'll put a link to it in the sidebar and I urge you all to go and have a read as some of the stories are really eye opening. I think most if not all mums at some point have experienced at the very least, the 'baby blues' or at the most, post or pre-natal depression or even pueperal psycosis in the more extreme cases. It also hits very close to home with me as I have suffered with depression on and off for pretty much most of my life and had issues with self-harm and being suicidal as well as mild alcoholism. Its also still a very taboo subject, but one that I feel needs to be addressed especially as alot of mums feel they need to just 'snap out of it' or 'get on with it' or are even told this by narrow-minded people. But 'mental health' as a whole is a very broad spectrum and I would really appreciate my fellow 7yummymummies sharing or discussing any experiences they have had with any aspects of mental illness this week, whewther it be themselves personally or someone they know.

Looking back, I think I probably had post-natal depression (or just very extreme baby blues!)with Brett but didnt really realise at the time. When I had my 8 week check and had to fill in that survey the health visitor gives you to determine whether you're depressed or not I remember saying to the health visitor that my anwers would probably have been different if I had filled it in a couple of weeks prior. I think by that point things were starting to get a bit easier but I'd had times before when Stew would be at work or football and Brett would be crying and I would be crying because feeding him was so painful and I couldnt get him to settle or go to sleep. I hated him sometimes and it was such a releif when Stew got home or we went to my mums and I could hand him over and get some peace. My mum would say "you wouldnt be without him" and although she was right I still felt resentment. Come to think of it, its any wonder I wanted any more after him!! But although having him was hard work, I dread to think what would have happened to me if I didnt have him as before I got pregnant I was nothing less than a complete mess! I'd suffered a miscarriage two months before I fell for Brett and having been depressed as it was before that, it came close to tipping me over the edge. I resorted to self harm which I already had a history of but I didnt dare go on anti-depressants as I was so desperate to get pregnant again.

But despite everything having Brett was actually a great turning point in my life and even my midwife said he was "the making of me". I did (and still do)continue to suffer bouts of depression on and off over the years, sometimes caused by things that were happening in my life at the time but sometimes caused by nothing at all. After all depression is an illness and can strike anyone at any time. During another bout that I had, probably about two years ago now, I went to see my doctor and remember telling her that I was afraid to get better because I wouldnt feel like 'me' anymore, like feeling depressed had actually become part of my identity. Luckily I've been feeling a great deal better of late, although the first couple of months after Lucie was born was a bit touch and go.

Well I have to go and collect Brett from his first day at his new junior school shortly! I cant beleive he is now in year 3!! Hopefully he is settling in and making new friends. Then we are off to Pirate Petes to celebrate little Finleys second birthday :) Happy Birthday Finley!!

Have a great week xxx

PS I've been writing this since about 11am and its now nearly 3pm!! Whats wrong with me?!!!!!